Ten Tips for a Happy Alcohol-Free Thanksgiving

By Karolina Rzadkowolska

People are already putting up their Christmas decorations in my neighborhood, but first, it’s Thanksgiving! This American holiday would usually go one of two ways for me in the past: I would be traveling, and drinking, or I would be at home for a traditional dinner, and drinking. My first sober Thanksgiving was on a cruise ship and it was one of the first times in my life that I ever truly felt pampered. You too get to rewrite your story this Thanksgiving.

But it’s not always a walk in the park. Being with family or big drinking friends can be trying. As we get older our identities expand, and yet it’s so easy to feel like we’re in high school all over again when we’re around people from our past, of course worrying about our not drinking.

Here are some things to do or keep in mind as you navigate a family or friend event authentically as yourself:

Embrace this as the best decision of your life
Deciding not to drink and embarking on one of the more meaningful lifestyle choices out there? You are doing what most of the population won’t do so that you can become a bigger, better, and more beautiful version of you. The version of you that shows up, cares, and makes a difference in this world. You have found a “secret” way of living that makes you look better, feel better, act better, and believe in yourself again. You are the lucky one.
don’t compare yourself to others
Comparison is the theft of joy. In every single way that you do it. I know, because I fall prey to this all the time. But when you hold yourself up to drinkers, it’s especially damaging. Thinking that drinkers are “lucky” or somehow better off or merrier than you is crazy. I know that in our minds we tell ourselves, “if only I could drink normally, everything would be better.” But here’s the thing. Every drinker that drinks more than two drinks gets hangovers. Every drinker sleeps roughly after drinking. Every drinker has their hormones and neurotransmitters thrown off to make them feel bad, anxious, or low the next day. Alcohol is technically poison and it affects all humans in the same way. You can’t avoid its nasty effects—except by geniusly not drinking it.
step out of the matrix
Drinking might be the norm right now, but think of other things that used to be normal that totally aren’t anymore: smoking cigarettes, smoking cigarettes on a plane, not allowing women to vote, thinking jello is a salad, etc. The point is, drinking is a human construct. And the more studies that will continue to come out about how unhealthy it is, the more our collective paradigm around drinking will shift. In a few years, not drinking will be seen as a way to be healthy, like eating fruits and vegetables. You have been learning so much about alcohol, your relationship to it, and what it feels like to be brave enough to go without it. You are stepping outside of the collective norm so that you can truly control your destiny. You’re a wolf.
don’t worry about what people think
You know why high school or middle school was so hard? Because we all depended our worth on the social opinion of others. And while hopefully by now we are all independent thinkers, when it comes to drinking, we still do the exact same thing. Worrying about what your distant uncle Bill will say or your second cousins when you don’t join them for beers? Who cares? I mean, in the scheme of things, you can’t let ancillary characters in your life hold you back from being your best self. When we focus on the social opinion of other people, we never show up confident or as our best selves. Imagine your life is a movie and you’re the hero. These people that you are so worried about and what they will think of you? In the credits, they don’t even get named. It’s just “pedestrian #1” and “cab driver #2.” Don’t let cab driver #2 stop you from living the life of your dreams.
have a fun af drink
One of the biggest reasons why I see people have trouble sticking to sustainable alcohol-free living is that they feel deprived and left out. Don’t let yourself feel that way. Have a drink! Anytime! Don’t ever deprive yourself from having a drink. Make it as fun and yummy as possible. Fancy craft beer? There are so many nonalcoholic craft beers on the market. Nonalcoholic wine? Pick one up at your local grocery store. Feel bored with your sparkling water? Make a mocktail that you love. There are so many options out there today and you can have any drink a drinker has, but with the secret ingredients of beauty rest and dignity.
Have your one-liners ready
Think of this lifestyle as being vegetarian. Vegetarians don’t go into a 10-minute explanation on why they decided to stop eating meat. They just say, “oh I don’t eat meat” and get on why their day. They don’t need to explain it because it’s not unusual and it’s also a positive lifestyle choice. Use the same exact thinking about not drinking. One liners like, “I don’t drink.” “I’m not drinking.” “Thanks, I’m great.” “I haven’t drank in a while and I feel better than I have in years, so no thanks” all work really well. People respect confidence and it’s up to us to make this lifestyle not unusual.
focus on gratitude
It’s almost impossible to feel bad or feel sorry for yourself when you focus on gratitude. What can you appreciate in your life at this very moment? That’s what this day is all about! I like to do a gratitude practice every single day, where I list five things I am grateful for from the day before. It’s helped train me to actually look for those things. I also list one thing I appreciate about my husband each day. I can tell you, that focusing on what incredible blessings I have in this life gives me more blessings to recount.
maintain boundaries
Holidays can be especially hard because we do so much around this time to please others instead of taking care of ourselves. If going to a seven-hour dinner or making all the dishes is stressing you out, set up some boundaries. Leave early. Say no. Or excuse yourself to go on a walk. Don’t feel beholden to anyone this year and give yourself enough “me” time to breathe.
change the tradition
Does your family tradition include drinking since 12 p.m. while watching the game for a 10-hour marathon? Dude, change the tradition! All around the nation people start the day with 5k or 10k races. Why not do your own this year? God knows you won’t be hungover from “blackout Wednesday” (people drink so much the day before Thanksgiving, it’s the biggest drinking day of the calendar year). Or after your meal instead of sitting around for hours, why not go serve the homeless in a food kitchen or go donate food to a local charity? Do something different and fun this year.
treat yourself
You did it! You made it through a huge drinking holiday with “those” people (you love of course!). How will you reward yourself? Decide before the day starts on how you can treat yourself after the day ends. Maybe it’s taking a bath with your favorite essential oils. Maybe it’s ordering that book you’ve been wanting off amazon. Maybe it’s a pedicure. If you don’t work the next day, double congratulations to finally have a day off to yourself with no hangover included!

Every holiday is a chance to rewrite your story and step into a more expanded version of yourself. You only do that by having new experiences and doing things outside of your comfort zone, like not drinking. It’s courageous and empowering and I am so freaking grateful for you and the inspiration you are creating in this world.

If you’d like some help to stop drinking and create the alcohol-life of your dreams, click here for details on my online course.