Is Perfectionism Stopping You from Living the Life You Really Want?

When I was drinking, I knew I was capable of so much more. Most days were the same. Wake up. Wait in traffic. Work. Get home exhausted. On weekends, I drank and, on Monday mornings, it was extra difficult to drag myself out of bed.

Things were just okay. While I was stuck in this pattern, I knew my heart wasn’t fully in it. I yearned for change. I wanted to travel, write a book, and work on my own terms, but I wasn’t doing anything about it. Instead, I counted drinks.

I breathed a deep sigh of relief when Fridays rolled around, and it was okay—even expected—to pour myself a large glass of vino. That whole time, there was one thing getting in my way. One thing was stopping me from taking charge of my life. One thing was preventing me from tapping into my full potential and being happy.

I’m talking about perfectionism and, if you aren’t careful, it can paralyze you.

Is perfectionism holding you back from the life you really want? Here’s how I learned to let go of my perfectionism and tackle my dreams.

First Thing’s First: The Booze Has Got to Go

For years, drinking kept me stuck. Alcohol is the number one reason so many intuitive women come to me frustrated with their lack of progress toward their goals. You don’t have to commit to giving up alcohol forever. That’s not what I’m asking. What I’m asking is for you to fully commit for 30 days.

Commit to being alcohol-free for 30 days and do it right. Lean heavily on your journal. When you have cravings, write about it. Describe what triggered you and how it feels not to drink. Think ahead and write about how you’ll feel tomorrow when you wake up without a hangover. Try non-alcoholic drinks and mocktails. Exercise. Meditate.

And you don’t have to do it alone. Changing your relationship with alcohol can be a process and many people benefit from some extra support. Most of us have been drinking regularly for years and years by the time we try to quit or take a break from it. A program can be a great way to hold yourself accountable, meet other health-conscious and growth-minded women, and get the tools you need to keep you on track. If you’re ready to commit to a break from alcohol and prefer intimate help and guidance along the way, find out more about my 4-month program, Become Euphoric, here.

Whether you do it on your own or enroll in a program, use that time to start going after your goals. I think you’re going to find that the clarity of being alcohol-free makes it so much easier. It’s a lot simpler to do ANYTHING without a hangover, right? It’s easier to focus on your goals when you’re not regretting what you said when you were drinking last night.

Break your goals into baby steps and go after them! Once you take those first beautiful baby steps and keep taking them, you’re going to be pleased with the results. If you’re consistent, your life is going to come together in a way that it never has before. My experience is that, once you try out an alcohol-free lifestyle and enjoy all its perks—like having more energy to do the things you want to do—you won’t want to go back.

Beautiful Baby Steps

To help you meet your goals, I recommend taking baby steps. I’m a big believer in identifying the next right step and doing something about it TODAY, not tomorrow and definitely not weeks from now. To take full advantage of baby steps, it’s important to understand what they look like. Here’s an example:

The prospect of launching my own business felt incredibly daunting. Instead of getting stuck, I broke it down into baby steps.

I started by posting on social media, sharing mocktails and pointers that helped me in the beginning of my alcohol-free journey. Then I bought a web domain. I created my first page. I recorded my first podcast episode. Every day, week, and month, I broke down the process of starting my business into small, achievable baby steps. I laid the foundation for my company brick by brick. One step at a time.

Another example is one of my clients wanted to become a professional hula hooper. When she first turned to me for guidance, that goal seemed intimidating—to both of us. What did we do? We broke it down into baby steps. One of her first goals was to pinpoint what kinds of moves she wanted to learn. There are different hooping tricks, like body rolls, isolations, and transfers. She picked out a few of her favorites. Then she bought a hula hoop that would be best for those tricks. Another baby step was to set aside time each week for her hooping workouts.

Approaching it this way made it accessible and ultimately laid the groundwork for her to take it to the next level—and then the next.

Build a Bigger Vision

When I ditched alcohol, I realized that there was nothing standing in the way of my biggest dreams. It opened the floodgates to a life full of possibility, creativity, and impact.

Start by changing your relationship with alcohol. Then use baby steps to move forward. Take messy, imperfect action. You’ll be astounded by the opportunities that are waiting for you.

Years ago, I thought writing a book was a near-impossible thing to do. I couldn’t imagine anything other than working from 9 to 5. I didn’t think what I had to say was important or that it would reach that many people.

Without the cloud of alcohol, I started to see that everything I was afraid of doing was possible and that my fear was holding me back from beautiful, life-giving experiences.

Because—of course—perfectionism comes back to fear. It comes back to fear of not being good enough. Being too vulnerable or too much. Not belonging.

When you push past that fear—when you let go of that fear—anything is possible.

Tony Robbins says, “Trying to be perfect is insane. You've got to stop being fearful; you've got to stop worrying about failure. The only failure is failing to decide, putting off what inevitably you know you need to do.”

Plus, most people never go after their biggest dreams. Most people settle for less than what they’re capable of.

That means there is less and less stopping you as you climb higher and higher to the top.

In her book We Should All Be Millionaires, Rachel Rodgers recommends making your “goals big and seemingly ridiculous” because “there will be fewer competitors, since most people aim for average rather than greatness. There is plenty of room for you at the top.”

I Can Help You Take the Next Steps

Like overcoming perfectionism, taking a break from alcohol comes back to mindset.

When you have the right mindset, perfectionism no longer paralyzes you. When you have the right mindset, you don’t want to drink.

When you change your relationship with alcohol, it starts an incredible domino effect. With alcohol out of the picture, most women find there’s nothing they can’t do.

To start your journey to gain freedom from alcohol and live a life filled with possibilities, sign up for Become Euphoric today! You’ll get 12 group coaching calls, daily video lessons and journal prompts arming you with the science and powerful mindset shifts you need not to drink, and the support of a loving, super active Slack community of health-conscious and growth-minded women just like you!