My Introspective Process to Close Out the Year

December is one of my favorite months—and not for the reasons you might think. December is important to me because it’s the perfect time to reflect back on the previous year. There’s this great framework I learned from a Tony Robbins coach. It’s a wonderful way to close out the year, and I’m happy to share it with you to help you get in the right frame of mind for 2023.

Start with Gratitude

Looking back over the past 12 months ask yourself, “What did I love about 2022? What were some of the greatest things that happened to me? What moments were the most magical?” Make a list month by month. Try to remember a few things for every month of the year. Maybe you went on an amazing trip in January and got to spend extra quality time with your parents in February.

It’s a really great exercise to be intentional and find more moments to be grateful for. Time goes by fast when we’re adults. If we don’t stop to think about some of our favorite moments, it can feel like a blur.

When you set aside time to make a list of things you’re grateful for, it may surprise you. Listing what made you feel happy and loved month by month may call to mind magical memories you may have forgotten about otherwise.

Next, Ask, “What Did I Accomplish in 2022?”

Next, I want you to ask, “What did you accomplish in 2022?”

We are so good at looking at everything we didn’t do. If you didn’t quite hit your goals in 2022, it’s so easy to guilt yourself, shame yourself, and feel like a failure. So I want you to do the exact opposite. I want you to honor yourself for everything you accomplished in 2022.

Create a victory list around it. A victory list is like a list of things you’re proud of doing. Sometimes, I think it’s hard to write down the things that make us proud because it feels selfish or like we’re bragging. The thing is most of us do not brag enough. We don’t honor ourselves enough for what we’ve done.

Start with the big things. Maybe you got certified as a coach. Maybe you launched a business. Get it down. Then make sure to acknowledge the smaller things too. If you painted a room in your home, started waking up early in the morning to workout, or got the kids ready for school without feeling as rushed and overwhelmed, add them to the list. Remember this list is for you. If you worked on something a little less tangible, you can count that as a success too! Are you calmer than you were last year? More patient? Write it down!

What Challenged You in 2022? What Don’t You Want to Bring into 2023?

Another question I have for you is, “What challenged you in 2022?” What was hard? Did you experience any emotional strife? Don’t hold back. Write it all down. Put it down on paper. Writing it down helps declutter your mind. It helps you let it go, so it doesn’t continue weighing on you in 2023.

Now you have a great framework to start digging deep and asking some really profound questions. Using your answers from the last question ask, “What do I not want to bring with me into 2023?”

This could be so many things. It could be a habit. Maybe you don’t want to drink in 2023.

It could be other things too. Maybe you don’t want to bring negative thinking or guilt into 2023. Maybe you don’t want to bring anger into 2023. Maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe you’re closed off. Maybe you shove your feelings down and you don’t want to keep doing that year after year.

Sometimes it goes a bit deeper than that. Sometimes looking at your deeper feelings can help you leave habits behind. Ask yourself, why do I drink? What is the deeper feeling that I don't want to feel anymore? What can I do not to bring that into 2023?

Visualize the Life You Want

The next part can be really, really fun. Sometimes, setting goals for the next year can be really stifling. You may not be able to accomplish what you want to do in one year. It might take years to accomplish. If that’s the case, making goals can be confusing. What’s the solution?

The next part of the process is to visualize the life you want. To do this, I turn on inspirational music—maybe some meditation music or a beautiful instrumental piece. Then, whenever you’re ready, picture a version of yourself five to 10 years in the future. This future version of you has everything you want, they’ve accomplished everything you want to accomplish, they live a life full of love, joy, and contribution. It’s the idealized version of you.

Really allow yourself to picture what you want. Picture the life you want if anything’s possible. Nothing’s out of the question. What would that look like? Would you be a famous author? A teacher? Would you have more children? Would you live in a house by the sea? A lot of women I work with dream of moving to somewhere remote—maybe somewhere rural or close to the ocean. It’s a beautiful acknowledgement of our desire to live simpler lives. So many of us want to unplug from the modern rat race and live a quiet life.

Where are you in five to 10 years? Where do you live? What do you do for fun? What do you do for work? How do you make an impact in the world? What is your legacy? Who do you help? What goals have you achieved? Who are your friends? How do you treat your body? What do you eat? How often do you work out?

After visualizing the idealized version of yourself in five to 10 years, write it all down. The next step is to identify the goals that can help you get there—to help you grow into that future version of yourself.

Determine which goals you could start working on in the next year and what goals can wait. For example, if you want to leave your 9-5, start a business, and make a million dollars in the next five years, that’s probably something you want to start today.

Don’t just ask yourself what you want to achieve in 2023. Ask yourself what you want to feel in 2023 too. Do you want to feel more joy, awe, or gratitude? Do you want to be more confident or have more courage? What qualities do you want to embody in 2023? How do you want to show up?

Really use this time of year. December is the perfect time to slow down, especially after the holidays. Maybe you have some extra time off work. Maybe things just feel quieter when the holidays are over. Use December to reflect. Then go into 2023 ready to meet your goals and show up the way you want to.

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