Why Journaling is So Vital to Changing Your Relationship with Alcohol

Years before I stopped drinking, I read a lot about the benefits of an alcohol-free lifestyle. I was really into healthy studies, and the health studies I read all said the same thing: women should have no more than seven drinks a week.

So I started a spreadsheet. I marked down how many drinks I had per day. I started off strong at the beginning of the week, ticking off zero on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. Then Thursday would come around. I’d go out for sushi and and have three drinks. On Friday, I’d have another three drinks and, on Saturday and Sunday, I might have four. Suffice to say, I didn’t meet my goal to keep it to seven drinks.

Still, I kept my spreadsheet pretty religiously. I always marked down my drinks. Sometimes I drank less, but I was still engaging in the same pattern, the same habits, and I woke up the same way on Mondays—feeling crappy and disappointed. I began doing this in 2013, and I didn’t change my relationship with alcohol until 2018. My spreadsheet wasn’t very effective. There was a lot of going out on my spreadsheet. A tool that did have a very real impact on my drinking habits was journaling.

YOUR MOST IMPORTANT TOOL

I fundamentally believe that your number one most important tool in changing your relationship with alcohol is a journal. Why? Journaling helps us challenge our assumptions and process our emotions.

First, we believe things about alcohol that literally aren't even true. We believe that it helps us sleep. We believe that it makes us more confident. We believe that it helps us relax. These things actually fly in the face of science. Alcohol doesn’t help you sleep. It disrupts restful REM sleep, and it releases the stress hormone, cortisol, into your body—doing the very opposite of helping you relax.

Another perk of doing deep introspection while journaling is that we find ways to take care of ourselves and soothe ourselves. We have all these different kinds of needs as humans, and we use alcohol misguidedly to try to meet those needs. By writing down your feelings, you find things that relax you even more. You find things that give you a sense of adventure and make you feel more alive than alcohol ever did. Changing your relationship with alcohol becomes the ultimate self-care.

Why is it so important to write things down?

It is so important not to just think about changing your relationship with alcohol or changing your mindset, but to actually write these things down. When we write things down, we get clarity. Our connection with our intuition grows stronger because we start figuring out what’s really true and what’s just an idea swimming around in our heads. Plus, it helps us build connections and make memories.

Did you know that if you don't write down an insight within seven minutes of having it, it's highly unlikely that you'll be able to recall it? If you don't write down an insight 37 minutes after having it, it's 100% likely that you won't recall it later. When you change your relationship with alcohol you have all these introspective moments, but if you’re not writing it down, you’re not solidifying it in your brain.

There's this incredible thing called neuroplasticity meaning that our brain is not static. Our brains can fundamentally change. We can even change old habit loops and lay down new neural pathways. At the same time, we can prune the old ones and get rid of them, too. It's so cool. That's why I like to say that drinking isn't who you are, and overdrinking is definitely not who you are. It's just a pattern you fell into.

If you're trying to take a break from alcohol, get your journal out and start journaling about your cravings. Journal about what you think you're going to get out of drinking alcohol, and journal about other ideas you have to meet those same needs. If you're just thinking all this in your head and trying to use willpower and going it alone—without a powerful tool like a journal—your neural pathways aren’t going to change. You need to write it down.

Author Joan Didion said, “I don't know what I think until I write it down” and that rings so true when it comes to changing your relationship with alcohol.

find TIME FOR JOURNALING

How do you actually find time for journaling? Most of us have a never ending to-do list. I don't want journaling to be another item on that list—something you feel like you have to do. Journaling should be fun. It’s your me time. It’s your time to explore and learn more about yourself. My best tip to fit journaling in is to do it first thing in the morning. Set your alarm five or 10 minutes earlier. It's worth it.

If you don't like the idea of waking up earlier, here are some other ideas for you:

Journal first thing when you get to work. If you have a 9-5, a lot of people get to work maybe at 8:30 or 9, but then they spend the first half hour getting coffee. Maybe they get coffee, maybe they talk to their colleagues, or maybe they get some water and kind of wander around. That's a perfect time to journal.
Write in your journal during your lunch break.
Journal right before bed. Incorporate it into your evening routine. Brush your teeth, wash your face, and journal 15 minutes before falling asleep.

What should you write about?

Now it’s time to grab your journal and start writing, but what do you write about? Start with these ideas:

Take part in a course. The easiest way is to enroll in a course. If you haven’t tried the 5-Day Res tart yet, I highly recommend it. It's a free 5-day course. It’s a journey of deep introspection. I’ll give you important questions to think about each day. You can write the answers in your journal.
Another option is my course, Become Euphoric. Become Euphoric is a 4-month course designed to radically change your relationship with alcohol. Every single day, you're going to be making best friends with your journal and writing about your deepest feelings and insights so that you can therefore change the neural pathways of your brain.
Use journaling to discover your needs. Understanding where your cravings are coming from is the key to changing your relationship with alcohol. When you have a craving, write down what you expect to gain from drinking alcohol. When you get clear on that, you start to identify what needs you're trying to meet with alcohol, whether it's the need to feel soothed, comforted, relaxed, or even loved. Then you can find a healthy alternative to take care of yourself and meet that need.
Journal to challenge your assumptions about alcohol. You can also use your journal to start deconstructing the reasons why you drink. Society tells us that alcohol is sophisticated and glamorous—the epitome of culture. It tells us normal adults drink and, if you don’t drink, you must be abnormal. But these things aren’t true. Journaling will help you uncover the truth.

now go do it

I truly believe a journal is the best tool you have at your disposal so, if nothing else, please get a journal. Put on your shoes and go to your nearest Rite Aid or convenience store. If you find that putting pen to paper is difficult for you, there are even journaling apps you can download on your phone. There’s no excuse not to have a journal!

If you really, really want to change your relationship with alcohol and do it in the most introspective way possible and learn more about yourself in the process, a journal is a good place to start. If you’re ready to ask big questions and improve your life, I highly recommend joining my group program, Become Euphoric. I’ll give you daily, in-depth journal prompts. You’ll have accountability and support from a group of empowered, like-minded women, and we’ll use science to help you change your views about alcohol. And then we’ll talk about what’s next for you—why you’re here and what you’re meant to do.

Because it's not just about changing your relationship with alcohol. It's about learning who you really are, what you really want, and what you really need on this planet. And I'm here to support you every step of the way.