6 Tips for a Happy Alcohol-Free Holiday

The holidays are just around the corner! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other holiday this season, for some, it is the most difficult time of year not to drink.

I know from experience. I’m 100% Polish. In Poland, Christmas Eve is a much bigger deal than Christmas Day. It’s a huge, elaborate celebration. There is a big dinner with 13 courses and little traditions that go along with them. We open gifts on Christmas Eve, and it’s really, really fun. It was also a huge drinking event for me. Imagine how many glasses of wine you can fit into 13 courses!

For years and years and years, I remember waking up and not feeling very well on Christmas Day. It was demoralizing. My first alcohol-free Christmas morning changed everything. I got to really be present with the people I love. I enjoyed festive mocktails and created new memories. I was really proud of myself. With the right mindset, an alcohol-free holiday isn’t about deprivation. It’s about excitement and everything you get to do.

Here are six tips for a alcohol-free holiday filled with beautiful memories.

1. UNPLUG FROM THE MATRIX

If you haven’t seen The Matrix movies, the premise of the series is that reality is infirm. It’s built on constructs and conditioned ideas. The ideas instilled in us from birth may not be serving us and they may not even be necessarily true.

When it comes to alcohol, most people are plugged into the matrix. They continue to believe and act on conditioned ideas and constructs that have no basis in reality.

Alcohol is a foreign, toxic substance. Do an experiment to try to see it for what it is. What if you started looking at everyone else and thinking, why are they drinking? Why drink something that’s going to you feel unwell? Why do we drink alcohol when it’s toxic and poisonous? Why is it normal and culturally acceptable?

Unplug from the matrix. View alcohol as a toxic substance, like cigarettes. Don’t buy into the myth that alcohol is necessary for a fun and fulfilling life. You know better.

2. Swap FOMO for JOMO

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is the idea that you will feel deprived if you don’t do something. I encourage my clients to shift their focus from the FOMO to JOMO—or the Joy of Missing Out—instead.

Think back to your last few holidays with alcohol. First thing: you’re not actually missing out. You’ve already done it. You’ve had alcohol during the holidays before, haven’t you? You drank at holiday parties and get-togethers for years and years and years. You know exactly what it’s like.

Now really reflect on your last five holidays drinking alcohol. Were all of your memories happy? Did you wake up feeling proud? Did you make beautiful memories with your family and truly connect with them? Or did you wake up feeling gross the next day? Were the holidays a blur?

Alcohol is always a love-hate relationship—with a lot of hate mixed in. When I was still drinking, I had traditional 9-5 and hated drinking in front of other people at company Christmas parties. I hated drinking too much. I hated having wine teeth and feeling unwell the next day. I hated not being present with my sister’s children.

Think about what you won’t miss. Write a list of all the things you will be happy not to experience. You’re going to be happy you didn’t overeat because alcohol wasn’t numbing your appetite. You’re going to be happy to wake up and feel amazing the next day. You’re going to be happy to be present with your kids and be excited about them opening presents. You’re going to be excited you're creating these wholesome new memories.

3. Practice Awareness

Tip #3 is to really be aware of the thoughts that you're having. In a typical day, humans think 60,000 thoughts. Over 90% of the thoughts you have are repeat thoughts from yesterday and the day before, and 80% of your thoughts are negative. It’s not just you. It’s instinct. It’s in our genes to think negative thoughts over and over and over again.

The thing is most of the thoughts you have aren’t true. If you feel like you’re missing out when you don’t drink or that you "deserve to have a glass of wine,” I encourage you to sit with those thoughts. Take a close look at what’s behind them. Do you think you need alcohol to relax or socialize? Do you think you need alcohol to have fun? These are called limiting beliefs. Challenge these thoughts whenever they come up.

Limiting beliefs stop us from growing and having new experiences. They keep us in our comfort zone where we know it’s safe and staying in our comfort zone isn’t fulfilling. Most of the time, it makes us miserable.

If you have limiting beliefs, challenge them. A journaling practice is a great way to do it. If the thought comes up that you aren’t going to have fun without drinking this year, challenge it. Tell yourself you can have fun with alcohol. Write a list of alcohol-free activities you’re looking forward to.

4. Make New Traditions

Don’t just stop negative thoughts in their tracks. Challenging limiting beliefs is a great start. From there, take it one step further and rewrite your history. Create new traditions for the holidays.

Without alcohol in the mix, you’re going to be able to do so much more. When you wake up on Christmas morning and you’re not hungover, the sky’s the limit. You can do anything you want to do. Think about what traditions would be most meaningful to you. Maybe go out and take a walk with your family to see all the Christmas lights. Go on a hike. Whatever you do, make it special. Something that reminds you what a gift it is to be present. Get creative.

5. Don’t Forget About Me Time

The holidays are super hectic, especially if you’re a mom. Maybe you’re getting all the presents, planning meals, and cooking for everyone. Whether you’re a mom, you have a big family, or whatever else the case may be, the holidays are a really stressful time for a lot of people. Spending a lot of time with family can make us feel like we’re back in middle school, and that can be painful. That means it’s extra important for you to carve out some me time this holiday season.

What that looks like for me is taking a walk around the harbor with my husband on Christmas morning. For a little while, we escape the hustle and bustle and enjoy time to ourselves. What can you do? If you’re spending a lot of time with family, stay at someone’s house. If your family comes over during the day, ask them to stay at a hotel.

Prioritize me time this season. Take care of yourself, and don’t get sidetracked by anyone else’s expectations.

6. Decide What the Holiday Means to You

My last bit of advice is to decide what the holidays really mean to you. What memories do you want to create? What kind of life do you want to create? What do you want to bring into 2023?

This time of year, I set new intentions, wishes, and goals for myself for 2023. To do it, reflect on what you’re grateful for, what you’ve overcome, and what you want more of in the coming year. When you get intentional, you can reevaluate anything. You can design the life you want.

Understand that—without alcohol—you’re not missing out. You're creating these beautiful new memories, and you’re rewriting your story.

Taking a break from alcohol this season is a radical act of self care. Don’t wait until January to get started. Why not start tomorrow?

I hope these tips help you realize that just because you’re doing something different doesn’t mean you won’t have fun. It doesn’t mean you won’t be happy. In fact, you’re going to have more fun. You’ll create your own fun. You’ll carve out new traditions. You’ll find out what you genuinely enjoy and what lights you up instead of just waiting for your next drink and forcing yourself to “make it through the holidays.”

Last thing—I just wanted to wish everyone the best holiday season ever! I’m so grateful for all of you. I wish you so much love and happiness now and in the new year. Without alcohol, there’s a very real possibility it may just be your most magical holiday season yet—and your most magical year, too. I’ve seen it happen over and over again. When you transform your relationship with alcohol, anything is possible. Your most beautiful life is waiting for you.

P.S. Need a little extra support this holiday season? I have just the thing for you! Doors to Dry Bootcamp open on December 12. We’ll get clear on the needs you’re meeting with alcohol, and I’ll equip you with healthy tools to meet these needs instead. Membership includes daily video lessons, journal prompts and mindset exercises to keep you on track, and a community of loving, growth-minded women just like you. Sign up here!